Star Wars Gangsta Rap Chronicles

I'm Lord Vader and I get respect your plant and your life is what I expect
cape on my back cable box on my chest
leather pants til my death / hot oil on my breath

1 2 3 and to the 4
Its the Emperor coming thru the door
ready to make an entrance so back on up
I'm about to blow some planets up

You know I'm crazy and my skin is white and pasty
I'm Evil, I like it when planets go boom
I once got busy in the Death Star bathroom

Rat Ta Tat Tat it's an Stormtrooper attack
100 laser blasts and still cant hit jack
Galactic recession you cant avoid
I'll be unemployed if Death Star destroyed

4 and 3 and 2 and 1
when I'm on the mic sandpeople run
the force is flowing and the light saber glowing
I drink my blue milk cuz it keeps me growing
I'm not joking family's straight broken
now Uncle Owens in the front yard smoking
A barbecue for Aunt Beru
Now there's nothing on the farm to do
sold my landspeeder and sold my comb
Now I'm feathering my hair all alone
I'm a Jedi with a license to kill
I think you know what time it is, its time to get ill

in my vest I'm the best smuggla
light beer chuggla / leia's main snuggla
shaking loan sharks when the Falcon starts
Chewies killing gundarks with them Wookiee farts

I'm Leia and I'm in your face, I'm the only chick in space
gold bikini there is no other
I got to first base with my brother

I'm not intergalactically known but I wear a blue cape at home
Lost the Falcon / I was low on cash
Don't talk trash about my mustache
I can swindle / I'll get crooked
I got Han but Vader took him

Now look what we have here
I'm still balling year after year

Public enemy Obi one
stormtroopers said freeze but they got none
Can I make them say I never had a laser gun
but it's the Jedi tricks I'm playing on your mind son
cause I'm old Ben eating Uncle Ben's
in my burlap Depends
No next of kin
I'll try and make amends with my old friends
Obi out - I'm ghost again

6 million forms of ill communication
e chu ta, no need for translation
odds of me complaining is 1 to 1
Jabba never wears any pants for fun

Jabba Raps a verse in his language

Who's the mackis it R2-D2
holograms every time that he sees you
always plugging into systems unprotected
is your 5 1/4 floppy drive infected?

swamp water I drink, root leaf I eat
three dirty toes on my green wrinkled feet
snakes in my bed/ can't get any sleep
trainings complete can I borrow a sheet?

I wish I was 3 foot taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I met a soft shell turtle I would call her
I wish I had a snake in a hat not a Womprat with a Tydirium Impala